Why Are You Still Single?

This question can never be asked in a way that doesn't insult the person who's actually single. When you're single it seems like everybody has an opinion on your relationship status. If you are not single by choice and have been trying to figure out why, there are a few questions you need to ask yourself.


Are your standards too high?

Now before you get all worked up, let me explain. There is nothing wrong with having high standards. If you want a man who is honest or trustworthy, you don't have to compromise. But if the list of things you are looking for includes him also being rich, beautiful, a homeowner, and great in bed then I'm sorry, but you may be setting yourself up for disappointment, not to mention making yourself look shallow and obnoxious. Are you yourself all of those things? If you are, congrats! However, the reality is that most people are not perfect and your night in shinning armor may be the barista at Starbucks who rooms with his buddies. You have to be realistic about what qualities are most important for establishing a meaningful relationship.

Are you emotionally available?

We've all been through bad break ups and some of us have been in relationships that were abusive or stressful. If you are now single and still carrying around the emotional weight of those previous situations than you may not be making yourself available for a new relationship. In this particular case, it is okay to stay single for as long as is necessary for you to heal the wounds caused by a bad relationship. As long as you are actively working towards making significant emotional connections with people, you shouldn't feel pressured to be in a relationship. However, if you are closed off because you harbor a fear of being hurt, the chances of you finding lasting happiness are slim. Take this opportunity to confront your issues and realize that love, true love, does not hurt or cause fear. Don't give up on love, or yourself.

Are you ready?

The truth is that if you aren't ready to settle down that's pretty much the end of the story. There is nothing wrong with making the conscious choice to be single. If you are up front with people about why you are single they can be understanding. Friends and family members who try to set you up might lay off if you just say "Look, I want to be single. I'm not ready to settle down." Usually that's enough to keep them at bay. However, if you're pushing 40 and still not ready to settle down you may want to reevaluate your priorities.

Being single doesn't carry the same negative connotation as it once did. It's okay to be single if you haven't found that special someone. Just make sure that you aren't closing yourself off too much by eliminating the possibility of a relationship, even if it's a long ways off. Life is meant to be lived, and having a partner to share it with can make things that much sweeter.